Number 287
by JDPhoenix
Summary: Lots and lots of finale spoilers. Klaus draws. Bonnie spells. They talk business and Caroline.


Disclaimer: I own nothing. And really, should I be blamed for writing fic to deal with my finale feelings?

AN: I was talking to Drakulina about the finale and this is the result. Special thanks to her for helping me find the ideas that started this and for getting me to warm up my muse before the ficathon opens.

Warnings: If you read that AN you should know that spoiler warnings for the finale abound.

**Number 287**

Klaus has not always been rich and powerful. There were times - many, in fact - when he was brought low by circumstance. But never, in one thousand years of life, has he been brought quite so low as this.

"How much longer is this going to take?"

The witch slams her hands down on the charred flesh of his abdomen - he'll pay her back for that when he is back inside the body - and practically snarls at him - that he doesn't mind, he's always liked a woman with a bit of bite.

"It would go a hell of a lot faster if you would _stop badgering me_. I don't want you in that body any longer than you have to be."

He smiles at her back and returns to his shading. This will be his 287th work since he got stuck in Tyler Lockwood's body and faked the boy's death. Drawing is his only escape down here. Bonnie can't lock him in this crypt, she needs all her strength for the work at hand, but she's threatened to give up Tyler for dead if Klaus causes trouble in town. It's not much of a threat and they know it but seeing as she brings him blood daily and keeps him supplied with paper and all the pencils and charcoal he can want, he has no cause to complain.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Bonnie relax. Her shoulders lower, her spine softens, and the candles around the room flare as she raises her hands. He waits until he sees her jaw slacken so she can renew her chanting.

"Victor never had this much trouble," he says.

He thinks the only thing keeping her from screaming is her own pride.

"Do I look like I care what some guy you probably killed did or didn't do?"

"Well you might. He pioneered the field of reanimation."

It takes exactly thirty-two seconds for Bonnie to turn. When she does her eyes remain fixed on him. The wall behind him is covered in the 286 drawings he's already finished. The first time she saw one hanging there she stopped, stared – her eyes went wide and her cheeks took on the most delightful pink hue – and promptly turned away from the wall, never to look at it again.

"When you say Victor…" she offers. He can see she doesn't want to voice what she's thinking. It's absurd, even in the world they inhabit.

He takes pity on her and finishes her thought. "I mean, as in Frankenstein. That wasn't his real name of course, just something that Shelley woman made up. She was a friend of Kol's as you can well imagine from all the artistic license she took with the story. The science in that book was abysmal even for the time. Of course the plot itself hit a bit too close to home. A monstrous child created by their parent's hubris, family hunting family to the ends of the earth, the beloved maiden murdered."

He smiles and enjoys Bonnie's confusion. She doesn't know whether to believe him or not. In the end she scoffs and goes back to his body.

"Next you'll tell me the Phantom of the Opera is true."

"Of course it is. But it happened in a city in the middle east back when cities were their own little countries with warlords calling themselves kings and the Phantom was a woman who—"

"Stop it!" She slams her hands down on his body again and he's really going to have to talk to her about her treatment of his possessions. "Stop pretending you know everything and stop with the stories already. Save them for your pathetic attempts at flirting with Caroline – or, better yet, stop flirting with her altogether." She glances over her shoulder at the pictures behind him, not really seeing them. "Find some other girl to creepily obsess over."

She's afraid. He may be stuck in Tyler Lockwood's body, she may be a powerful witch, but he's still him and she's still a teenage girl barely treading water.

"You're right."

"I'm – _what_?" She turns, too shocked to ignore him.

"You're absolutely right. I shouldn't be wasting all my stories on someone who clearly doesn't appreciate them and has work to do besides. And I'm spending far too much of my time down here – how did you put it? – _creepily obsessing_ over Caroline? I should do something else."

"I- I'm glad you agree."

"I most certainly do. It's this body, really. All the hormones would be bad enough but the body only recently transitioned into being a werewolf, and then a vampire almost immediately after that! I imagine it'll take at least a century before things settle down in here. If I'm going to live in this body, I'll have to burn some of these emotional urges off."

Bonnie takes a step back, bumps into his body.

"Yes, I think that's a brilliant idea, Bonnie." He quickly signs and numbers this drawing, then holds it up for her to see. "What do you think of this one? I know it's a bit adventurous but Caroline's an adventurous kind of girl. Or maybe number 108 instead?" He reaches up and fingers the corner of the drawing in question, pretending he doesn't see Bonnie's horrified expression. "It's always been one of my favorites. I learned it from a duchess in England. She taught me quite a few things actually – and her parents thought she was a virgin." He smiles, inviting Bonnie to share in the joke.

Her eyes are wide and her fists shake. Just a little further…

He moves his hand over to number 109. "I know what you're thinking. If I was like every other man in this town I could make it work – Katherine and Elena, I'm sure the Salvatores have each dreamed it a time or two – but I've never understood how those two fools and my brother could love a double of the woman they lost. It seems morbid and don't you imagine they'd always worry about calling out the wrong name?"

"_What the hell is wrong with you?_" Bonnie screams. The candles around them burn like torches. "Forget how totally inappropriate it is to talk to me about your kinky sex dreams about my _best friend_. Forget the fact that she's _not interested_ and how wrong and evil and twisted – _even for you_ – it would be for you to sleep with her like this. Do you honestly think I won't leave you down here to rot if I think for even a second you'd actually do any of- of- of _this!_" She gestures wildly at the wall of drawings. A gust of wind follows her motion and the drawings flutter. Caroline – every angle, ever part of her – moves, the sensuous poses made all the more alluring as they fall in and out of view.

Klaus takes a moment to appreciate the site while he waits for Bonnie to calm down. The candles, new this morning, are nearly burned out as their flames ease and the wind dies. She breathes heavily, more sighs than frustration now that her anger is spent.

"That is exactly what we both know you won't do," he says calmly. He steps closer, trapping her between his bodies. "You can tell yourself a hundred times that Tyler would want to die rather than let me touch Caroline, but that won't ease your guilt if you leave him like this. So you are going to fix my body or I will go act out every one of these fantasies." He smiles, letting her see Tyler's werewolf teeth. "She'll love every minute of it, I assure you."

Klaus backs away, Bonnie goes back to her spells, a bit more effort in her words this time, and Klaus moves around the room, changing the candles before he begins drawing number 288.

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